There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?