Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast