I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
