I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
