I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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