Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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