At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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