it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
