when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
