Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
