this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
