The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize