Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I FOUND THE LEGS
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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