maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
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Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
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I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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