And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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