Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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