I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
