we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
