Do you still have your period?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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