My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My liver just had a heart attack.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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