So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
