I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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