My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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