i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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