I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
