I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
