she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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