TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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