I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
