i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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