Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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