Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
