whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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