Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
