I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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