Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You've changed since you got that strap on
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