if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
