Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just took my morning after pill in the library
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
