Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
