You really coming over, don't trick.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
