Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
