this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
