I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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