You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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