I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have feelings that need drinking.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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