walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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