curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Who died my cat blue again?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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