why do cheetos always look like penises
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
