return my video game
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
