yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
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Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
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Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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