I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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