Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
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