dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
a search helicopter?!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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