his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
