I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
