I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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